David And The PaintCult

I'm not famous. 

I'm not even close to famous.

Hardly anyone reads my blog. 

Lemme tell you about the people that do. 

David

David is my sister. She wears boxers and I think that she will eventually date girls named Bob, and Ken. David takes pictures of dead animals. We aren't sure if she kills them or not... but I suspect so. David writes a blog. It's about live animals... ironic? David has nicknames for everyone. My brother is Tina the Llama, Mom is BradLoaf (or Baldo). She knows better than to nickname me. I would kick her queer little ass.

PaintCult

I call her PaintCult because she is the leader of a cult that paints rooms and mows lawns. She lives about a million miles away on another planet. This planet is called Maseeeeenah (formerly known as Pluto). The people and plant life there are quite strange. The grass grows about ten inches every hour so they have to mow their lawns a lot. PaintCult lures unsuspecting friends over for beer and pizza. Sounds innocent right? As soon as the friends are there, drinking and eating and having a good time... she whips out her paintbrush. She then waves her paintbrush in everyones face, like hypnotizing people to paint. If that doesn't work then she gives them roofies and ties them up. The reason that I know it's a cult is because she wants people to paint like every day. How can a person have that much to paint? Yeah, it's definitely a cover for a cult. All I can say is that if she lures you in... don't drink the kool-aid!

Redd

Redd is my BFF. I've nicknamed her Redd (with two d's) because of the red hair and the double d's of course! I gave her the link to my blog... but she informed me that she has not read it yet. When she finally does she will love her new nickname!! Redd lives in a four-bedroom mansion. She has a jungle in her backyard. The jungle is filled with wild animals like cats and mosquitos. The mansion is so big that you could get lost in it. There are twists and turns everywhere! She even has 'the hallway of doors'. This hallway has seven doors!! It's like a maze. Redd has 'baby-daddy-drama' in an extreme way. I want to kick his skinny little ass and bury him in a three foot hole. I just can't let Redd know that I did it. 

Me

I live in a shoebox. I live with the ChildPerson and Nameless. We have a DogChild that likes to lick himself. 

DogChild is very hairy and likes to eat the bathroom. Despite his many quirks I love him very very much. 

ChildPerson is a lunatic. He values video games like gold. Life isn't worth living if there is not Wii or XBox. My major forms of torture involve taking away video games and electronics. 

Nameless is a big dumb douche-face that you will hardly ever hear about... he doesn't want to be blogged about for fear that the blog monsters will come in the middle of the night and eat his face and rape his anus. If I do blog about him in the future I will refer to him as Big-Dumb-Douche-Face, that way he won't know it's him. I probably won't ever tell him where my blog is anyway, and I'm not sure if he can read... so it's all good. It's kinda flattering that he doesn't want to be blogged about though. That means that he thinks that I'll be famous someday and he doesn't want people reading about him. So, I win.


That's all for now. As I add followers I will nickname them. Until I'm famous and have too many to count... then I'll just refer to them as the followers.